Just When You Think You Have Heard It All

This year marks my 20th year in 9-1-1. I am a tenured dispatcher that still LOVES answering phones. For me, it is a reminder that no matter what is going on in my life, someone somewhere has a lot worse happening. Those are the bad calls.

The other reason why I love answering the phones is that you never know from day to day what you are going to get. A call comes in and you hang up thinking “nothing will ever top this call.” Then the next day the phone rings and it happens again!

I’ve had some great ones over the years.

There was the elderly lady that wanted to report a burglary, it seems someone was breaking into her house over night and stealing her left over bacon grease from the stove.

There was the man, who after a medical procedure, was supposed to avoid “relations” with his wife. He didn’t follow the doctor’s orders and to quote him “it swelled up like a football.” Paramedics confirmed, it indeed did swell up like a football.

Then a call from someone reporting a horse broke into their house and was stuck in the library. A horse in the library? Is this some sort of new Clue game?

It is never ending. The countless people who all seem to tell the same story, they were part of a secret government project and the cameras in their head are malfunctioning. I have taken that call so many times, I am partially convinced such a program just might exist. So to everyone that doesn’t like answering the phones anymore, just remember, you haven’t heard it all yet !